Long after she is gone, I am still in a daze. What started out as a diversion from work as I stood looking out the window had left me flustered and in a turmoil.

It’s hard to explain why that look had impacted me thus. It was as if an old sore had reopened and its wound, after all this time, still painful.  

For years I’ve searched.. in faces of people I meet at malls, airports, hospitals. I’m at a loss to describe exactly what it is I am seeking but I know I would recognize it if it appeared. Through the passing of time, I thought I had convinced myself to end my search, but ever so often, out of sheer habit, I would unconsciously look; with no real hope of ever finding it again.

I didn’t deliberately set out to find it. The first time, it lasted only a split second so much so I wondered if I had imagined it? But in that brief glance; when she opened her eyes to look at me; it seemed as if time stood still and she had spoken words I alone could hear. Words I couldn’t comprehend or perhaps, chose not to in my denial to accept what I thought was said. Not knowing what to make of it, I have kept this a secret. But I could not forget.

   

It is inconceivable that I finally found closure in the most unlikely of place and circumstance; through a scene in the movie “Daylight”. The friends I was with must have thought it strange that I had cried so hard at the theatre that night. But the realization of what it was you were trying to say dawned on me with such clarity that I finally understood.

Since then I have been searching…. and I told myself, if I ever do find it, it will be me speaking, assuring you that everything is alright…