A chance at a second childhood

Another interesting article I came across recently....




I am not one to forward junk mail. In fact, I claim to be a victime of thoughtless, forwarding of unsolicited email, a cover-up for the fact that the dear sender wants to keep in touch but has nothing meaningful to say.

Today was different. Something moved me. I posted 45 Lessons Life taught me by Regina Brett for all to read. And now, I would like to share entry No. 19 : "It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else."

As I read that for the first time, my eyes lit up. I smiled. Bewildering thoughts passed through my mind. All that my parents had denied me as a child, I can now have. Everything I'd wanted to do, I can now do.

I'm free !!! Free to have a happy childhood. Free from controlling and, at times, overbearing parents who seemed to take pleasure in denying me that favourite toy, that lovely dress or the ability to drive the family car.

Then the dust settled and reality started to set in again. The truth of the matter revealed itself. I had forgotten all the scarifices my parents made for me. The things they gave up to feed me, clothe me and give me an education.

The hurt that they felt when I deliberately disobeyed their orders and made them confront innermost fear - that of losing me before it was time. I witnessed the anger that it manifested, but completely missed the rationale behind it.

I never understood all the fears that my parents had. The endless worries and sleepless night. Or why they felt responsible when I failed. When the values they tried to instill and the lessons that they taught went unheeded.

I understand now that they do so less because our failures are a reflection of their parenting. But more because the burden of regret is so heavy that they cannot bear to let me make the same mistakes they'd made.

Thinking back and looking forward, I cannot change anything in my childhood. I've grown up.

The things that make me happy as a child no longer work in adulthood.  The freedom that I had imagined I would have will not change who I am Now.

The second childhood Brett was refering to is really to appreciate and coming in terms with the first childhood. Being happy is about appreciating what you have.  Taking the good with the bad is called living a meaningful life.

So, instead of griping about what an unhappy childhood I had, I think I'll share the stories of my childhood with the children of the next generation. To help them see the other side of the coin so that they may appreciate their childhood while growing up.


unSelfish.....

The pursuit of unhappiness

Another interesting article I read recently... and worth sharing...





Nobody in her right mind wants to be unhappy. Everyone wants to pursue happiness. It is our relentless goal to be happy at all times.

If so, why then do we do what is contradictory and make ourselves constantly unhappy ?

It is probably due to our reluctance to accept the fact that life is unfair, and having the idea that WE DESERVE certain things.

We feel unhappy because we think we deserve to be appreciated by people - our boss, colleagues, parents, children, even our staff. WE feel unhappy because we think we deserve a raise, promotion or more fame, or we want things to go the way we wish, but they dont.

We feel unhappy that some people got rich instantly through fraudulent means or by mismanaging our money, even as we labour to death. We feel unhappy that being nice did not get us anywhere, while those who were convincing and selfish got to go where they wanted to be.

We feel unhappy because we think we deserve attention, fair treatment and having people be pleasant to us. That they will thank us, applaud us, heck, even help us. When none of this happens, it makes us tremendously unhappy.

Expecting people to be good and fair is bound to make us unhappy. Because life is NOT fair. It is only when we accept the fact that we deserve NOTHING, that we will be surprised by goodness and fairness. And in doing so, find HAPPINESS.


Sharing....

Poem for all ages - so true....

So profound, and .... so sad.


This is worth a read. whatever your age.


When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. It was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the
Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man...

What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ... . . . . With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . ... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . ... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . You're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am. . . . ... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . .. ... Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .. . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . .. . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . ... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . .... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,

And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . . Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . That nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

surely.......

I will be back!

Oh dear!!! Its been ages since I logged in here. I just assumed that no one had the time or energy to contribute in here any more. How pleasantly surprised I was! But then again , time too became a legit factor for me. Bogged down with multiple tasks, both work and home based, I did not get much time for blogging. But having just completed 7 of my writing assignments, and killing time before getting ready for All Saints' Day Mass at 1pm, i wandered in here and had a couple of nice surprises.

We no longer have to sign off with our initials for after so many long years of Femstuff friendship, we have learnt everyone's writing styles and can easily identify whose it is :) I know the last 3 posts in here are done by the same person :) who provides funny jokes and silly stories as well very heart wrenching ones that easily conjured up droplets of tears in my eyes.

i thank you for sharing so openly all your inner feelings. I thank you too for making me giggle like a kid with your Silly KIA joke !!! But most of all I thank you for reminding me that no matter where are Mums are right now, these strong women will always be a part of us as we carry on our maternal duties as well.

let's hope that this will be the start of many more new posts from all of us!