I am not one to forward junk mail. In fact, I claim to be a victime of thoughtless, forwarding of unsolicited email, a cover-up for the fact that the dear sender wants to keep in touch but has nothing meaningful to say.
Today was different. Something moved me. I posted 45 Lessons Life taught me by Regina Brett for all to read. And now, I would like to share entry No. 19 : "It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else."
As I read that for the first time, my eyes lit up. I smiled. Bewildering thoughts passed through my mind. All that my parents had denied me as a child, I can now have. Everything I'd wanted to do, I can now do.
I'm free !!! Free to have a happy childhood. Free from controlling and, at times, overbearing parents who seemed to take pleasure in denying me that favourite toy, that lovely dress or the ability to drive the family car.
Then the dust settled and reality started to set in again. The truth of the matter revealed itself. I had forgotten all the scarifices my parents made for me. The things they gave up to feed me, clothe me and give me an education.
The hurt that they felt when I deliberately disobeyed their orders and made them confront innermost fear - that of losing me before it was time. I witnessed the anger that it manifested, but completely missed the rationale behind it.
I never understood all the fears that my parents had. The endless worries and sleepless night. Or why they felt responsible when I failed. When the values they tried to instill and the lessons that they taught went unheeded.
I understand now that they do so less because our failures are a reflection of their parenting. But more because the burden of regret is so heavy that they cannot bear to let me make the same mistakes they'd made.
Thinking back and looking forward, I cannot change anything in my childhood. I've grown up.
The things that make me happy as a child no longer work in adulthood. The freedom that I had imagined I would have will not change who I am Now.
The second childhood Brett was refering to is really to appreciate and coming in terms with the first childhood. Being happy is about appreciating what you have. Taking the good with the bad is called living a meaningful life.
So, instead of griping about what an unhappy childhood I had, I think I'll share the stories of my childhood with the children of the next generation. To help them see the other side of the coin so that they may appreciate their childhood while growing up.
unSelfish.....
No comments:
Post a Comment