Of Lice and Lies ...

I don’t know if any of you remember her but her name was Bhavani. (or something to that tune) She was the first person I was friends with at St. Anne’s.

The first few days of school, I was feeling lost and alone. I didn’t know anybody. Prior to Std 1, I did not attend kindergarden or nursery classes; the closest being Sunday School, if that counted at all.

That particular day, some of the girls were crying uncontrollably in spite of the fact that their mums were standing just outside the classroom, peering through the shutters, shushing and uttering “tiam” in their various dialects. The sight and sounds of kids crying made me feel worse. My mother wasn’t there. There was no one to console me had I contributed to the barrage of tears.

As I sat in class trying to be brave, she approached me and made a great show of pretending to cry. That broke the ice. I knew she was mocking the girls. I laughed. I’ve found a friend.

Bhavani was as puny as I was and we were both equally scruffy. Her uniform was crumpled all the time. Perhaps her family didn’t own an iron? Maybe they didn’t even have electricity at home? Mine were often crumpled too cos’ I tended to take naps wearing my pinafore. I wear the same pinafore throughout the whole week and only change blouse daily. Dirty-leh..

That we were of a different race didn’t matter. We managed to communicate even with the smattering of English that I spoke. We giggled over silly things and were soon friends with the other girls, including the cry babies. Recess times would find us playing “catching”, skipping ropes and 5 stones, which I never mastered, even to this day.

Children are usually affiliated with innocence but they can often be cruel as well. Young as we were then, there were already snobs amongst us. And there were the troublemakers too.

One day, someone (try as I might, I cannot remember who that someone was, maybe it has been blocked out to protect the culprit??) shouted, (why do kids shout rather than speak?) “Don’t friend her .. she got kutu-one! See her hair got white white one. After you near her the kutu fly to you. My mother say if got kutu, must cut botak head and then must put kerosene wash the head.”

After 40 years I still wonder if there’s any truth to that statement. Did Bhavani have lice on her hair and if you were infested, do you really need to wash your shaven scalp with kerosene?

All eyes were upon her and I could sense her discomfit. She looked at each of us in turn, her eyes imploring for someone, anyone, to go to her defense.

I would have you believe I was the heroine who stood up for Bhavani that fateful day or called the accuser bluff or that I had taken her by the hand and scuttled off somewhere else to play.

Bhavani looked at me with eyes that spoke volumes. I stared back. That’s when it happened.

At the age of 7 I committed my first act of betrayal. I chose to walk away.

From that day onwards, I did not speak to her. Perhaps I was ashamed of myself or perhaps I was angry with her for arousing such emotions within me?

As the days passed, the remorse I had felt dwindled to nothing or so I thought. Some years later an article with a similar theme appeared in the Reader’s Digest. I remember crying while reading that article. The feelings of contriteness and shame which I thought had dissipated so long ago, resurfaced.

Many years have past since I last thought of Bhavani but last year I read “The Kite Runner”. There is no connection whatsoever between that story and mine but I found myself identifying with the character Amir. Reading that book made me recalled that incident in school as well as the times I had opted to take the easy way out and in doing so, betrayed or had been disloyal to a friend.

Amir wasn’t a bad person but sometimes it’s so much easier to let others take the blame; to follow the crowd; to keep quiet rather than to stand up or speak up for someone whom you know in your heart is right. And if you miss your chance to do right at that moment, it’s gone forever.

Maybe this story isn’t so much about Bhavani but my own weaknesses rather? Little did I know that this act of cowardice had left a scar and even though the years have rendered it almost invisible, it will always be there.

F

the value of friends

I was reading through yesterday's papers this morning and chance upon this article which I would like to share.

Life is incomplete without friends......

Many people walk in and out of our lives but the ones who remain closest to us are our true friends. And friends have often proven to be more valuable than family and partners because they care and share in our joy and pain. Those who leave footprints in our hearts are our best friends. Making friends and maintaining friendship is part of our life's support system because without them, our lives would be empty, dull and dreadful. In short, our whole life depends on our ability to get along with others and developing friendship because our time spend outside our home is with friends. Our friends are vital because they are one of the most reliable sources of happiness, joy, support and intellectual development. While some friends are for keeps, some drift apart from us. In the course of friendship, sometimes we may get hurt or be betrayed and find it difficult to trust someone any more. But we should understand that bumps in a relationship are a means for us to know and understand the friend better, building trust requires quality time and is a life long process.

I have a childhood friend with whom I shared the same plate, cup and bed in our younger days but we have grown apart owing to our work and a change in his lifestyle and beliefs. Although we have not seen each other over the years now, my friend still remains special to me because of values, sorrow and fun we shared.

Good friends are those you can count on when you are in difficulty even though you have not met for some time. It is not necessary for your best friend and you to meet daily, weekly or monthly because a strong friendship is beyond distance and regular meetings. Friendship involves an internal connection.

They love you but they are not your lover.
They care for you but they are not from your family
They are ready to share your pain but they are not your relation
They are friends
True friends scolds like a Dad, cares like a mum, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and finally loves you more than a lover.

Comparing friendship to our eyes :
They blink together, move together, cry together, see things together and sleep together
Though they never see each other, friendship should be just like that because life is hell without friends.

Life is incomplete without friends and no one can go through life without friends.

I thank God for the wonderful friends.................

S.

hi.... its me again.....

firstly, the whole office is in a mess. Can you imagine at this time when all you hear everywhere - world wide about bad economy and bad times, our office is doing renovation. Yup.... renovation. Somebody is thinking to bring up the image of the office in old dusty pandamaran. Who would imagine a "corporate office" in old dusty pandamaran. what the ^&%$#... does it really matters who cares about this sh@##$. Show us the money... dont show us the so call "corporate image office"..... so what if the office looks like corporate but the management is still "china" thinking. Any difference and does it matters.....?? We have been told all the time, times are bad, we should cut cost but what puzzles... renovation means cost cutting, meh ?!

The whole day today... all we hear is kok,kok,kok,kok..... aiyoo... the sound of laminated flooring being laid on the old carpet flooring. Told the HR dept to prepare and standby 1 box of panadol...... the worst is yet to come. The flooring will probably takes another 3 days to complete.

The wind just now blow in some alarming news... all of us will be watched by CCTV in the office. Can you imagine, while working and having the uneasiness that someone or something is watching you behind your back while working. Even damn thing you do, every word you say and every sound you make, be it your fart, sneeze or cough, you will be heard !!!!!! Not forgetting the number of times you visit the pantry and nature calls. Wonder if they will time how long we stay in the toilet or would they keep track how many times we used the toilet ??!! Can I call this invasion of privacy or do we have a choice, the employee as a minority. If the management does not trust the staff, please replace us but please dont put all of us under surveillance.

S.... sad and surprise.

24/7

The other day, while snoozing and dreaming in my own world... suddenly my mobile phone rang.... repeating the name of the caller, XXX 88. The name of one of the six tugs that I am managing. The call came in at about 2.30 am. Yea... i wrote it correctly and yes.. you read it correctly, too. Took the call, which went like this :

Me : yea, slamet malam...
Capt : Slamet pagi...Buk
Me : Oh ya... slamet pg..
Capt : Ada problem, Buk...
Me : Aduh.. apa problemnya Capt ? (Mind running wild... kena tahan by immigration kah or kena stop by Marine)
Capt : Kita alami kerosakan Buk, mungkin pada main shaft...!! Lagi 10 nautical mile untuk sampe muara sungai...
Me : Sh...t... Oh.. No.... Ok.. Nanti XXX 18 akan kesana bantu balik ke jetty.

As informed by the Master, the main shaft (like our car steering wheel) has probably gave way and may need to dock for replacment. While talking to him, my sleeping mind suddenly awaken... sHxt..i have urgent shipment that need to move out soon and this has to happen. So i called another tug to SOS XXX 88 back to base. After my third attempt, finally the sleepy Captain answer my call. I tried to go back to sleep but feeling unease over the whole incident. An hour later, I called the SOS tug and yes confirmed he is on the way towards XXX 88. Phew.... great relief !!. The next morning would be another of those days.... bloody monday..?! I have to source for a replacement as shipment is urgent. Ding.... dong... ding... dong.... finally managed to secure a replacement. then another !@#$ shipment pulak got problem... aiyooooooooo.....

So,,,, on call 24/7.....??

S = S@#$?

Friends for a season..

Our blog has been stagnant for a while and its mainly thanks to E that it did not fade away into obscurity. Even with lots of encouragement from her, I don’t seem to have a topic. Moreover, for the past 10 days or so, I have been working half a day everyday which doesn’t leave me much time to blog as I would have to do proper work whilst in the office. (however little there is-lah)

In the twinkling of an eye, a third of 2009 has passed us by.

The current economic slowdown has triggered off a series of flashbacks of what had transpired during the previous recession which occurred back in the mid 80’s and lasted till the early 90’s. My family’s business suffered, so did we and what we went through, given a choice I would prefer to erase from my memory. But can you ever forget?

It is at times like these that you begin to wonder and you hope and pray that you would never have to go through what you had experienced the last time. The hopelessness you felt, the humiliation, the fear, the anger.

I suppose I could start another post and call it “skeletons in the closet”? All those deep dark family “secrets” … but I didn’t start this post with an intent to blog about such a depressing topic. Funny how your thoughts tend to stray…

Thankfully, in the midst of such dark recollections, I am also reminded of God’s goodness; His mercy and His compassion. I am grateful that when all seemed lost, He provided.

There was an email circulating and part of it goes “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime..”

In my greatest hour of need God sent people like Vicky, Anne Lim, Tien Hooi, Grace Tan, Dr. Gan, Jenny and several others. They helped and guided me through that difficult patch in my life. They were like embers that eventually ignited the little spark of faith I had left in God. I don’t think any one of them realized how great a role they played then or how I appreciated their many gestures of kindness,their prayers, their support. Their presence and encouragements gave me strength and rekindled hope when I had all but given up. After being so close during that short span of time, it is strange that we do not keep in touch anymore. It must be true then, that God sent them to me just for one season for a reason..

I do not know where some of them are today but I pray that should any of them be caught in a similar situation where I was, that God would do the same for them. May He send them an angel; that ‘special’ friend who would appear just for that one season for a particular reason.

As for me, may I too, be sensitive to His prompting to be somebody’s friend for that season when it is required of me.

F

Easy beef noodles soup!

Today i ransacked the freezer and found a packet of thinly sliced beef , lots of chicken bones, a knob of Szechuan pickled veg and i decided to cook my very own beef noodle soup! I always enjoy the Vietnamese version but i don't have all those herbs at hand. So i just made up this simple recipe all on my own with some recollections of different noodle soup i had in several places.
I started out by boiling the chicken bones in a big pot , adding slices of crushed ginger and lots of crushed pepper seeds too. A pinch of salt was added and some pork stock too that i bought from Thailand :) very yummy ! As the soup was boiling i sliced the Szechuan veg into thin strips and then dumped them into the stock as well. 2 more pieces of chicken breasts were also added cuz i wanted to have some chicken meat in the noodles too.
When the stock was tasty enough, i removed all the bones and sliced the 2 pieces of chicken breasts and kept that aside. I dropped the slices of beef into the soup and then shredded lots of dried black seaweed into the soup as well. And that was it!When it came time for lunch, i boiled Maggi mee noodles and blanched some veggies as well. then Diane and i sat and ate the yummy beef noodles together !!! Slurp!!!
I wanted to take a pic but i was so eager to eat my noodles , i only remembered about taking a snapshot after i slurped the last drop of soup! Isnt that always the case with us when we go anywhere to eat and say we want to blog about the food!!!????? TYPICAL !!!!

E-asy 2 cook!

an eye opener!!

I had been meaning to contribute in here. A ton of ideas crop up each day but if i don't put my thoughts into words immediately , the inspiration just fades away, never to surface again! And since today is a relaxing one, after the crazy hectic one i had yesterday , i am taking this opportunity to sit in front of the PC and type something.
My life was in turmoil at the end of last year , and although the tragic news of my mum brought me closer to God, the November disaster shattered all that. I asked questions that no one could answer. I was in doubt and my faith dissipated to nothing. I stopped praying every night like i used to. I just distanced myself from God and found strength in family , friends and myself.
As i settled back into my home , and started to live my life normally again, i try to keep myself busy and enjoy the good things in life with new vigour! Life is too short for worries ....
i think i have changed , become stronger, tougher and more appreciative. But thru all the changes, deep inside i am still the same me. And the old E would still pray and continue to believe in God. So last night i went to bed and started to pray ..... and i was stunned that i got stuck in the middle of the Lord's prayer !!!! i couldn't remember a small part ,...give us ??????? our daily bread!!! I went thru it many times in my head and guessed it was DAY but what comes b4 day!!!! So finally i gave up and just talked to God! When i was midway thru it , suddenly it came back to me ..... and i realized that it was " give us THIS day our daily bread"
Wow it was an eye opener! I had neglected to pray so much so i had forgotten the prayer!!! My mum would be so disappointed in me! So i am going back to my night prayers from today onwards!
E-very night I'll pray!