Shocked and stunned but i am almost over it!

The American Idol 2009 results show was a shocker but the amount of news coverage and blog comments that overflowed in abundance online goes to show that the people have not gotten over the shock! I am almost over it , accepting defeat LOL graciously. Hahahaha! Although i spent all morning still reading comments about the results!!

Kris is a good singer but Adam ranks way above him in all other aspects. Both are good but we know who rightfully deserves the title! Career wise tho i am sure Adam will excel and prove to the world that he is star material . Kris can never ever compare with Jason Mraz even tho he is likened to the singer! Ok i am biased ...... and my American idol is still ADAM LAMBERT!

Because You loved me

My days are not as easy going as they used to be. My posts in this blog site are few and superficial. It wasn't cuz i had nothing to write about . In fact i always have a ton of stuff on my mind and at the tip of my writer's tongue! But time was the main issue here. Tonight however i feel i need to write. Its a spur of the moment sort of topic but always dear to my heart.
First of all , i am now kept on my toes with a number of new tasks at hand. I have taken on yet another English training session. This time it isn't the usual short stint of a week or a fortnight. This one is 6 months long , tho its only 2 sessions a week. I am exactly midway thru it now , and have 3 more months to go.
For most of the Listening and Speaking modules i have to download certain video clips to help with the training. And the one particular one for my session this week is about a Filipino girl called Charice who sings like an angel at the tender age of 16. And her dream is to sing with Celine Dion. Oprah found her and she performed a song in Madison Square Gardens with the celebrated singer. Nothing really extraordinary about that for most of you, even tho she has a wonderful voice. And my post isn't about her spectacular voice or about how dreams can come true!
It was the song she chose to sing and who she dedicated it to. The first few notes that came thru her lips were beautiful. She is a very amazing singer but from then on , tears welled up in my eyes. At the start of the song, the 16 year old girl had said that she was singing this song for her mother who was in the audience. And the song she chose was Because you loved me.
Her words touched my very heart as i listened to the lyrics. I am what i am today all because of my mother! I love u , Ma...... i always will . Happy mother's day!
PS: i tried i million times to upload the video here but keep getting the error message so if anyone wants to view the clip, its here :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WilGCuT8LlM

E-very day i love u

power coup within .....

its been a horrible and stressful week for me and my other colleagues as well especially all the HOD. It is just like in the movies and those chinese dramas that you have watched many and many times over and over again. Never thought that me and others would really got the chance to experience ourselves 1st hand...... wow... it is reallly very tiring and stressful for us.. what more those who are directly involved !! We are in the office "Coup" power hahaha.... eh... tis is for real.. no joke wan ah !! Family fighting each other for the ultimate ... the power / hot seat !! Actually, only two involved as the rest is just back benchers. It's either me or him..... u vote him.. i opt out and vice versa. Macam drama minggu ini. One will paint bad pictures about the other causing uneasiness among the family.. dragging the man of the house as well. Poor man.... one side son, the other side also son.... so how ..??

Advise to those voting.......to vote the Policeman... catch bad guys but able to bring in any business ??? wherelse, businessman... bring in business and able to maintain the sales n uphold the company..... Which one would you vote ??

its gonna be a very stressful weekend ahead..

S..tress..

Of Lice and Lies ...

I don’t know if any of you remember her but her name was Bhavani. (or something to that tune) She was the first person I was friends with at St. Anne’s.

The first few days of school, I was feeling lost and alone. I didn’t know anybody. Prior to Std 1, I did not attend kindergarden or nursery classes; the closest being Sunday School, if that counted at all.

That particular day, some of the girls were crying uncontrollably in spite of the fact that their mums were standing just outside the classroom, peering through the shutters, shushing and uttering “tiam” in their various dialects. The sight and sounds of kids crying made me feel worse. My mother wasn’t there. There was no one to console me had I contributed to the barrage of tears.

As I sat in class trying to be brave, she approached me and made a great show of pretending to cry. That broke the ice. I knew she was mocking the girls. I laughed. I’ve found a friend.

Bhavani was as puny as I was and we were both equally scruffy. Her uniform was crumpled all the time. Perhaps her family didn’t own an iron? Maybe they didn’t even have electricity at home? Mine were often crumpled too cos’ I tended to take naps wearing my pinafore. I wear the same pinafore throughout the whole week and only change blouse daily. Dirty-leh..

That we were of a different race didn’t matter. We managed to communicate even with the smattering of English that I spoke. We giggled over silly things and were soon friends with the other girls, including the cry babies. Recess times would find us playing “catching”, skipping ropes and 5 stones, which I never mastered, even to this day.

Children are usually affiliated with innocence but they can often be cruel as well. Young as we were then, there were already snobs amongst us. And there were the troublemakers too.

One day, someone (try as I might, I cannot remember who that someone was, maybe it has been blocked out to protect the culprit??) shouted, (why do kids shout rather than speak?) “Don’t friend her .. she got kutu-one! See her hair got white white one. After you near her the kutu fly to you. My mother say if got kutu, must cut botak head and then must put kerosene wash the head.”

After 40 years I still wonder if there’s any truth to that statement. Did Bhavani have lice on her hair and if you were infested, do you really need to wash your shaven scalp with kerosene?

All eyes were upon her and I could sense her discomfit. She looked at each of us in turn, her eyes imploring for someone, anyone, to go to her defense.

I would have you believe I was the heroine who stood up for Bhavani that fateful day or called the accuser bluff or that I had taken her by the hand and scuttled off somewhere else to play.

Bhavani looked at me with eyes that spoke volumes. I stared back. That’s when it happened.

At the age of 7 I committed my first act of betrayal. I chose to walk away.

From that day onwards, I did not speak to her. Perhaps I was ashamed of myself or perhaps I was angry with her for arousing such emotions within me?

As the days passed, the remorse I had felt dwindled to nothing or so I thought. Some years later an article with a similar theme appeared in the Reader’s Digest. I remember crying while reading that article. The feelings of contriteness and shame which I thought had dissipated so long ago, resurfaced.

Many years have past since I last thought of Bhavani but last year I read “The Kite Runner”. There is no connection whatsoever between that story and mine but I found myself identifying with the character Amir. Reading that book made me recalled that incident in school as well as the times I had opted to take the easy way out and in doing so, betrayed or had been disloyal to a friend.

Amir wasn’t a bad person but sometimes it’s so much easier to let others take the blame; to follow the crowd; to keep quiet rather than to stand up or speak up for someone whom you know in your heart is right. And if you miss your chance to do right at that moment, it’s gone forever.

Maybe this story isn’t so much about Bhavani but my own weaknesses rather? Little did I know that this act of cowardice had left a scar and even though the years have rendered it almost invisible, it will always be there.

F

the value of friends

I was reading through yesterday's papers this morning and chance upon this article which I would like to share.

Life is incomplete without friends......

Many people walk in and out of our lives but the ones who remain closest to us are our true friends. And friends have often proven to be more valuable than family and partners because they care and share in our joy and pain. Those who leave footprints in our hearts are our best friends. Making friends and maintaining friendship is part of our life's support system because without them, our lives would be empty, dull and dreadful. In short, our whole life depends on our ability to get along with others and developing friendship because our time spend outside our home is with friends. Our friends are vital because they are one of the most reliable sources of happiness, joy, support and intellectual development. While some friends are for keeps, some drift apart from us. In the course of friendship, sometimes we may get hurt or be betrayed and find it difficult to trust someone any more. But we should understand that bumps in a relationship are a means for us to know and understand the friend better, building trust requires quality time and is a life long process.

I have a childhood friend with whom I shared the same plate, cup and bed in our younger days but we have grown apart owing to our work and a change in his lifestyle and beliefs. Although we have not seen each other over the years now, my friend still remains special to me because of values, sorrow and fun we shared.

Good friends are those you can count on when you are in difficulty even though you have not met for some time. It is not necessary for your best friend and you to meet daily, weekly or monthly because a strong friendship is beyond distance and regular meetings. Friendship involves an internal connection.

They love you but they are not your lover.
They care for you but they are not from your family
They are ready to share your pain but they are not your relation
They are friends
True friends scolds like a Dad, cares like a mum, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and finally loves you more than a lover.

Comparing friendship to our eyes :
They blink together, move together, cry together, see things together and sleep together
Though they never see each other, friendship should be just like that because life is hell without friends.

Life is incomplete without friends and no one can go through life without friends.

I thank God for the wonderful friends.................

S.

hi.... its me again.....

firstly, the whole office is in a mess. Can you imagine at this time when all you hear everywhere - world wide about bad economy and bad times, our office is doing renovation. Yup.... renovation. Somebody is thinking to bring up the image of the office in old dusty pandamaran. Who would imagine a "corporate office" in old dusty pandamaran. what the ^&%$#... does it really matters who cares about this sh@##$. Show us the money... dont show us the so call "corporate image office"..... so what if the office looks like corporate but the management is still "china" thinking. Any difference and does it matters.....?? We have been told all the time, times are bad, we should cut cost but what puzzles... renovation means cost cutting, meh ?!

The whole day today... all we hear is kok,kok,kok,kok..... aiyoo... the sound of laminated flooring being laid on the old carpet flooring. Told the HR dept to prepare and standby 1 box of panadol...... the worst is yet to come. The flooring will probably takes another 3 days to complete.

The wind just now blow in some alarming news... all of us will be watched by CCTV in the office. Can you imagine, while working and having the uneasiness that someone or something is watching you behind your back while working. Even damn thing you do, every word you say and every sound you make, be it your fart, sneeze or cough, you will be heard !!!!!! Not forgetting the number of times you visit the pantry and nature calls. Wonder if they will time how long we stay in the toilet or would they keep track how many times we used the toilet ??!! Can I call this invasion of privacy or do we have a choice, the employee as a minority. If the management does not trust the staff, please replace us but please dont put all of us under surveillance.

S.... sad and surprise.

24/7

The other day, while snoozing and dreaming in my own world... suddenly my mobile phone rang.... repeating the name of the caller, XXX 88. The name of one of the six tugs that I am managing. The call came in at about 2.30 am. Yea... i wrote it correctly and yes.. you read it correctly, too. Took the call, which went like this :

Me : yea, slamet malam...
Capt : Slamet pagi...Buk
Me : Oh ya... slamet pg..
Capt : Ada problem, Buk...
Me : Aduh.. apa problemnya Capt ? (Mind running wild... kena tahan by immigration kah or kena stop by Marine)
Capt : Kita alami kerosakan Buk, mungkin pada main shaft...!! Lagi 10 nautical mile untuk sampe muara sungai...
Me : Sh...t... Oh.. No.... Ok.. Nanti XXX 18 akan kesana bantu balik ke jetty.

As informed by the Master, the main shaft (like our car steering wheel) has probably gave way and may need to dock for replacment. While talking to him, my sleeping mind suddenly awaken... sHxt..i have urgent shipment that need to move out soon and this has to happen. So i called another tug to SOS XXX 88 back to base. After my third attempt, finally the sleepy Captain answer my call. I tried to go back to sleep but feeling unease over the whole incident. An hour later, I called the SOS tug and yes confirmed he is on the way towards XXX 88. Phew.... great relief !!. The next morning would be another of those days.... bloody monday..?! I have to source for a replacement as shipment is urgent. Ding.... dong... ding... dong.... finally managed to secure a replacement. then another !@#$ shipment pulak got problem... aiyooooooooo.....

So,,,, on call 24/7.....??

S = S@#$?