Making a difference ?

There are people who seem to be filled with compassion. They willingly reach out to help strangers without expecting anything in return. Perhaps God has placed burdens in their hearts, to help the needy, care for the sick or merely, to love the unloved? These people, like angels in disguise, bring light to a world that’s been darkened by violence, calamities and all kinds of evils. They offer a glimpse of hope to those who had given up. These people are a blessing and a precious gift to humanity. Their efforts to make the world a better place should be commended, encouraged and worthy of support. Through them, many believed that there really is a God who cares and that they are not alone in this world.

It would seem that God in His wisdom, places different burdens into the hearts of different individuals; that none will be left unattended. Some have an affinity with children and orphans, others, the elderly or the sick. Yet, there are others whom God has entrusted a deep love for animals. Are these people less noble because animals are of lower specie than mankind? What is so different whether you are on a crusade for man or for beast? The bottom line is, you are aiding the weak and the helpless.

I do not claim to be noble or good. It may sound shocking but I am often unmoved by sights of war torn refugees or victims of catastrophes. With all the tragedies going on day after day we often become inure to cries for help. Call me cruel if you will but I cannot feign an emotion I do not feel.

There is yet another tugging in my heart. One that I cannot ignore. I do not know if it’s a God-given mandate but at least I know my heart is not totally unmoved.

Many fail to understand this particular kind of calling. We are often misunderstood, derided and thought to be eccentric. We seem to have our priorities wrong because we treat animals far better than people. Needless to say, it is often a thankless task. You save a dog from hunger for a day, a week or even a year but one day it disappears and you may never know what’s become of it. And none of the strays rescued will ever be able to repay you. Not in the monetary sense, anyway. But a mere wag of its tail, or a tongue licking your hand is often all the thank you need.

I pray that God will provide enough, such that I may carry on doing what my heart feels so strongly about. Long after I am gone, I know God will continue to plant seeds of compassion into other individuals to care for these hapless creatures, just as He will for man.

"One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”I made a difference for that one.”

Ah Kee with the dogs in her care in Kamunting

F

Response to CARE ~ from guest blogger too!

This is a reply to Fong’s last post ~ Care. It was an interesting one and I have way too many things to comment on. It wouldn’t fit in the comment column so I had to do a new post on that.
It’s so typical in Asian culture to not express love and affection. Its felt but not shown. I guess it’s like an act of weakness to be so affectionate. The men are probably the worst offenders!! But Chinese women are just as bad, especially the older generation.
Take my family for instance, I was brought up in a very typical Chinese family where birthdays were hardly celebrated. I don’t think I even had a birthday cake at all until I was 19 when my sis came back from UK and bought me one. We have the usual ang pows handed to us and I hate to say this but my dad would shake my hand and wish me a happy birthday!!! I think I received more outwardly shown affection from my friends than my parents!!
When I had kids of my own I made it a point to be really expressive! It came very naturally to me. I mean I love my babies to pieces so it was not a problem showering them with tons and tons of love!!!! Hugs and kisses, and constant reminders of “I love U” filled the household. Kids learn very quickly and they soon passed that on to their grandparents as well. But even then the old folks only became affectionate towards the kiddies.
It took a major health issue in the family to change that. My dad’s kidney failure was a rude awakening to all of us, mostly on himself. He realized that we do not say how we feel often enough. Thru out the illness he kept going on and on about his love for all of us. And from then on, the older generation was more generous with their show of affection, even with us older children!!!
It’s true we shouldn’t wait for special occasions to let our loved ones know they are appreciated. A simple gesture like a hug, or a pat on the back, an arm around one’s shoulder or a kiss on the cheek or the forehead…. A kind word, a compliment… it can’t be that hard! So start now!
I am so glad I instilled that quality in my kids. Not a day goes by without someone uttering some form of affection. Even the man of the house is an affectionate one, we are so blessed.
But let this not just be confined to one’s family. We have friends we care about as well and they are just as important to us. Our lives intertwine so here’s to all my friends and family ….. MOAHS!!! HUGS! I love u!!!!

Attached is also an excerpt from one of my kids’ emails. She wanted to have her 2 cents worth after reading F’s post too. So here it is from our guest blogger ~ No2!

I read aunty F’s post!! . I understood immediately what you meant bout us being the total opposite of what she mentioned. Our family compared to others is quite different in the sense that we do constantly profess our love to one another. I don't know why but while I was reading the post, I remembered when I was a kid, you made us a little mail box to keep and every once in awhile you would write sweet little notes or letters as you may call it and put it in our mail box and we (your kids) would reply the same way. In a way it helped us with our writing skills and it helped breach any boundaries between us. It’s the little things that mean the most. I always loved that line because it really is what it says. Leaving little notes around the house or just the simplest physical act of love such as a hug or a ruffle of the hair or a pat on the back is enough to make someone's day. I remember you, making cards for all 3 of us (your daughters) for no reason at all. Just to say u love us, you cared and that we mean the world to you. And doing that meant the world to us. The fact that I can still remember that to this very day, that I still keep that card and that I can remember what you wrote in it proves it all, doesn't it? You’re proud of the fact that there's no generation gap between us. I am too. And I know that all this is possible only because of you. You taught us how to share our feelings and emotions, how to open up and love freely. The little things that you do for us, is what brings us closer together.

Thank you mum for everything.
For teaching us how to love.
For all the little thoughtful gifts that you give to us.
For the times together that we laughed and cried.
It brought us closer together each time
thank you for all the things you've done.
And most of all thanks for being my mum.

love u lots =D
hugs and kisses,
~No.2~

E-xpressions of love please!

Care

I contributed the following article to my church’s newsletter years ago. It certainly looks as though I was a better writer then than I am now or perhaps, I was a basically a nicer person then? Still I would like to share it with you and at the same time, remind myself not to be guilty of neglecting my loved ones.

“Someone once said “ We never truly realize how much something means to us until it’s no longer by our side.” How true! All of us have, at one time or another experienced this – taking something or someone for granted, failing to appreciate what we have until it’s taken away. Only then do we begin to realize how precious that something or someone truly was.

You know, there is a saying “A rose to the living is more than sumptuous wreaths to the dead.” Isn’t it a bit late to buy flowers for the dead merely to lay it on their graves? Will the dead ever begin to appreciate flowers, however lovely their fragrances? But to one who is living, a single stalk of rose can mean an awful lot.

Just for a minute, reflect on those around you, your family members, friends and other dear ones. Have you ever told them you love them or how much you care? Don’t you think they deserve to know? Why do we always wait for special occasions like Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, etc. to shower our loved ones with flowers, gifts and cards? Sure it’s nice to receive flowers on those days but it’ll no longer be a surprise then, will it, especially if one is already accustomed to receiving flowers on such occasions. But, what of ordinary days? Don’t we tend to take each other for granted then? Deep down, each and every one of us needs to feel loved and appreciated. No one is isolated in this case. Ordinary days are ordinary days but they can become memorable days when someone makes an effort to turn those ordinary days into special days just by doing something nice. And it doesn’t really require much effort.

Why can’t we learn to show our appreciation for one another? How often do we neglect to show our care even though we may truly care? Oh sure, we Malaysians are an inhibited lot. Still, it is said that the love in your heart is not love till you give it away. How about taking time to care? Give your friends a hug, surprise someone with a small gift; brighten someone’s day with a rose, a smile or even, just a kind word.

Jesus has commanded us to love one another and love is not inactive. It is doing something for someone else unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. That’s love. Matt. 5:16 says, “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Let us therefore, be living proofs of God’s existence by spreading His love. How else will people tell us apart except, as the song goes “ .. and they’ll know we are Christians by our love…”

P/S Incidentally, since we’re on the subject of flowers. We have fresh roses for sale on Valentine’s Day. We provide free delivery (Klang valley) for a minimum purchase of ½ dozen stalks. Please call 31686440 to place your order now!

F

What melts a hole in your wallet!???

After such a serious post from F, i had a hard time trying to come up with a good topic for a new post! But i am not such a serious person , so its a bit susah for me la!!! i will stick to what i know and what i am !! And even tho i have said that i will NOT blog about this particular topic again .... for fear that i may be labelled as a PIG, its almost impossible for me. So here is the one with the wiggly piggy tail .... and now , with an equally piggy tummy and butts to match!
Last Saturday we went for a seafood lunch and somehow the topic of ice creams came up. I don't know how it started cuz i was not listening to F and my SIL . Suddenly i heard my SIL say that she was going to take us for desserts. And the magical word Haagen Dazs came up! I have tried Haagen Dazs before but never at the outlet itself. Its the ones in tubs and on sticks.... and once at an ice cream parlour that supposedly uses Haagen Dazs ice cream but sure as hell didn't taste that great!
Anyway we made our way to the Aeon BT mall and headed straight to HD! One look at the menu , i think our eyes went @@!! i am sure my SIL , Pauline was accustomed to the prices there but the rest of us were like ..faint faint!!! F was also busy trying to get the pronunciation of HAAGEN right! I was a bit too bloated with seafood so Diane and i decided to share the ice cream. We ordered a double scoop with brownies and i don't know what Pauline ordered . It had a double scoop too but came with a wafer. F, not being an ice cream person , just ordered a latte. Diane and I asked for water which we found out was FREE! So F had that too LOL and Pauline asked for iced lemon tea.
OK i have to admit that the ice cream at their outlets are way much better than the ones u get from the tubs purchased at supermarkets!!! I suppose it fresher! And OK la , i also have to admit that it tastes better than Baskin Robbins but the scoops are a lot smaller tho! When the bill came , wahhhhhhhhhhhhh pengsan pengsan! let's put it this way , if we had ordered an ice cream each ( meaning 4 sundaes la) the bill would have been more than the seafood one !!!
i think its best we stick to normal ice cream! We know ice cream melts at room temperature, but it sure as hell can melt a hole in your wallet at any temperature!!!
Some info about Haagen Dazs ~ They do have an All-u-can-eat buffet that costs RM39.90++ for adults. But its only for a certain period of time. Last year it was in October i think. And another interesting fact about HD is that even tho it sounds terribly Danish..... its origin is American. They only used the name to tipu Americans i suppose! HAHAHAHAHA! But it did well!
E-xpensive

With these hands we reach out

I'd like to share an article written by Daphne Ling, the same girl who raised funds for the little girl with Fraser Symptom whom I wrote about some months ago.

"Today I want to tell you all the story of 2 ladies my mum and I met while in the hospital…

About 4 years back, at about noon, my late grandfather (he was alive then) had difficulty breathing…My parents and I rushed him to the hospital, and because of his age (he was about 87), the doctors admitted him into the red-tagged ‘Zon Kritikal’ (Critical Zone) to be assessed…

My mother went in with him, while I hovered outside the red-tagged doors…After a few minutes, my mum came out looking a little nauseated, and asked if I could sit with my grandpa instead… She said I could say no… The reason? On either side of my grandpa’s bed, were two other patients, who were seriously injured…On his left was an army officer who had been flung out of his truck and had sustained very severe head injuries…On his right, two beds away, was a baby who was screaming away, who had shrapnels of glass all over her body…(They sedated the baby shortly after)…

My mum cannot stand the smell and sight of the blood…

I went in, and the first thing I thought was ‘Oh God, the smell is terrible!’…And the sight I saw that night is something I will never forget.There was blood all over the floor, and various tubes of different sizes were everywhere, and I swear there was actually bursting from the patient…

When one smells a little bit of blood, it is ok, but to have blood everywhere, the smell is very nauseating and very hanyir (I don’t know how to translate this)…The hospital personnel were all robed up and had masks on, and my grandpa had on an oxygen mask, but I was left with nothing… I ended up breathing through my mouth instead, while looking the other way…They later drew the curtains, but I could still hear them!

After a while, my grandpa was sent for observation in the famous Observation Room…While they were doing some tests on him, my mom and I waited outside…

At one corner was a young Malay lady crying silently, her face ashen…At another corner was an old Malay lady, also crying silently… My mum and I guessed they were family of the 2 patients still in the Critical Zone of the ER…I went to talk to the old lady, while my mum approached the young lady…

I spoke to Opah, and she told me that her grand-daughter (the little baby) was inside the ER…She said that they came from Taiping, and while her son was cleaning the glass windows at home, he had accidentally smashed right through it, and that her grand-daughter had been lying on a little mattress directly underneath…The result was all the glass landing on the baby and cutting her…The old lady was sobbing away, because she was afraid of losing the little girl…

My mum later told me that the young lady was the young wife of the soldier in the ER…The truck he had been traveling in, on the way home from Penang, had met with an accident, and he and 2 other had been injured (he the worse for he was flung out)…The couple had recently got married less than a month ago, and had recently moved to the army camp in Ipoh…

They had no family here (Ipoh) as both of them hailed from the East Coast (I can’t remember exactly which state, but if I remembered correctly, it was Pahang)…So she was completely alone, with a dying husband, and no friends and no family, and completely lost…

My mum lend the young lady her handphone for her to make some phone calls home, and subsequently left her number…She told the young lady to call should she need anything during the night, since we lived nearby…My mum later told me that she was worried the soldier might die in the middle of the night, and the lady would be all alone…

After a while, we left to get my grandpa’s stuff and also to bring my grandma to the hospital to accompany my grandpa…

On the way back to the hospital, my parents stopped at 7-11, and my mum and me went down…I was a little surprised when I saw her pick up stuff like mineral water and biscuits and bread, and even more surprised when she got some nasi lemak bungkus (she said the 7-11 bags showed they were halal)…

When we reached the hospital, after seeing to my grandpa, my mum did some enquiring, and later, took me to the security guard station (this was about 11 pm)…

It turns out, she had bought all those food and water for the two ladies whom we had earlier met in the ER…She herself went to see the soldier’s wife in 1A (or it could have been 2A), while I was sent to find the baby in 5D…She was scheduled for surgery in the morning, but thankfully, the injuries were not permanent…

Mum’s reason? They would be too worried to think about food, but she was sure that somewhere in the night, they would be hungry, and there would be no food…

We then nipped back down to bring my grandpa in to be admitted…

The next morning, on our way to see my grandpa, my mum told me that at about 7 am, the young lady had called to say that her husband had just passed away…She also told my mum that all their relatives (as in, both sides) had arrived in the middle of the night, and all got to say goodbye…

I asked my mum if we should go see them, but she said that we should not intrude on the family’s grief, and moreover they would be too busy seeing to the funeral arrangements…The most important thing was, said mum, the young lady had her family with her, and she wasn’t alone…Mum said that if she was still alone, then we should go…

I honestly can’t believe I actually remember the events of that night, but remember them I do…I guess there are some things you don’t forget…

But a 17 year-old learned one thing that night…And that is: Just because you don’t know a person doesn’t mean you can’t reach out and help them...

year 2008 - what a "bang" way to 2008

Better pen in sometime before kena "kau kau" from E !!!



I started my new year - 2008 with a bang !!! hahaha.. really... huge bang. Well, the story goes like this.



On January 2nd, afternoon, took my kids for their hair cut before school re-open for new term on Jan. 3rd. As usual, me being malaysian always... "berak mau keluar" then only cari "lubang" hehehe..... Reached the hair saloon about lunch time, my usual hairdresser, named Jo - short for JOJO (like clown name, hor).. u ah... if new school term dont start, sure wont see your face here.. alamak !! :-( My kids had their hair cut done within the hour looking like... my son - crew cut (no.2) and my girl like.... china girl hehehehe. On the way out, the co-owner of the saloon walk in and Jo mentioned that he is very good in coloring hair. FYI, he has cut both my children's hair and his work... gooooddddd. So, i asked Jo when would be his next trip to Klang as I thought maybe get my hair done up nearing to chinese new year. But according to Jo, today only cos he will be busy in his own shop in KL until chinese new year. Alamak, that means like it or not i have to make time for him to do my hair TODAY !!! Pasal mau cantik, ok lah.. make appointment that same evening for my hair do. So on the dot, 5 pm, rush to saloon. When reached there, was told he has to rush back to KL.. *&^%$# (excuse me...:-) )Jo says, never mind lah, since u are here, i do for you lah... Dont want to make another trip there, so.. ok. Told Jo how i want my hair cut and she was not sure if i really wanted to cut short. I had my hair length over my shoulders and now i want to cut short - "BoB" style. Before she cut, Jo says.. eh... i going to cut liao..ah... i say cut lah.... Guess Jo wants to be double sure, i wont regret it. Mind you, i used to keep my hair short, very short. The only time my hair was kept long during my younger days - before and during primary school. Mum used to keep my hair long and every chinese new year, got people "book" my hair. Those days very "heng" - wig. Using real hair for wigs. Only when i was in secondary school, i started keeping my hair short. Back to present time - Jan 2nd 2008. By the time, i finished - hair cut and coloring, it was about 8 pm. So i decided to tar pow my dinner but cant decide wat to makan. finally almost reaching home, ting !! buy "lor mai kai" and "siew mai" yum.. yum.... Diverted to the makan stall near my house. After tau pow, i decided to use another route back home... boy... that was a big mistake and bad decision. Once turned in, just a few metres, bang !!!! I screamed and realised a motorist just came out from nowhere and bang the left side on my car. My heart pounding... motorist ok or not ?? then slowly, he stood up.. Phew..... parked my car to the side to check apa rusaklah.... wah.... my side mirror patah.. imagine flower not enough water, they whither, head down. Then i notice the left fender "kemet". *&^%$ (sai lah) aiyooooo..... song song and happy with my new hairdo and this happened ! The motorist has the cheek to say, tiada brake. Tiada brake somemore jalan laju. Lu nasib baik, gua talah laju, kalau laju... "pocit". Sekarang apa macam, cermin patah, ini sudah kemek ? Aiyo, saya tarak wang lah... Huh !??

Next day, checked out the price for replacing the side mirror.... Got another shock of my life ! New replacement - RM700 !! What the &^%$# Wah,,, c lorrrrr.... c lllooooorrrrr..... Another alternative, 2nd hand set. Luckily, my regular mechanic manage to source 2nd hand set for RM310. Now i have to check out the price for the side fender. Easily another RM500++ (sob sob....) Aarrgghhhhhhh......

One week later, on Jan 9, my house was broken into. Thieves came in from the roof via the kitchen. They broke the kitchen ceiling and manage to take most of my jewelleries and some cash from my dressing table drawer. I never ever expected this to happen to me as we have been staying there more than 10 years and nothing of this sort has ever happen in my neighbourhood. My loss was about RM5K. I was heart sick as all these items are my hard earned money (blood money) and some items are way back when i was younger, gifts from my mother. I also lost my schwarski bracelet and pendant which i loved and very proud of when i am wearing them. My girl's set also gone. Those b$#@% are good for nothing doing this. That very night, I couldnt sleep, thinking about the things I have lost. I know those items can be replaced but some of those have sentimental value as those were gifts from my mum way back during my school days (also her long time sweat saving money) and some using my hard earned money !!! sorry to say this but I really curse thieves that took away my things. The only consolation is they did not ransacked the whole house but only the drawer. Guess, the loot from the drawer is good enough for them.

Make a police report and was told by them that they will call and investigate the case. Till now, the call did not come and the broken ceiling have been replaced for the price of RM1400. The contractor "block" whatever entrance from the roof top into the house.

Of course, when these things happen, you will get some feedback like, aiyo... why did you keep your things in the drawer. You should put them away, places where not so easy for them to find. Why you keep some many items in one place ? You should split and keep all over.. Huh ??

Aiyo,, if I know and foresee all these, i wont be keeping them where they were, right ???!

Anyway, items lost maybe replaced (i know). Probably "the one above", has other plans and I take this two events as 'BLESSING IN DISGUISE".

HAPPY NEW YEAR.........

S

Karaoke Fever ..

I totally agree with E regarding Greenbox - food, choice of songs, sound system – all of which are good. They even provide coverlets for the mikes, so that people don’t drool all over them. They look like miniature shower caps. You can take these home and use as socks for your dogs’ paws or use them to cover your ears if someone’s singing gets too horrid! The added advantage is that it is located at the new J.J. and since it’s on this side of the bridge, even I can drive there.

Our birthday treat for E (karaoke + buffet) was scheduled for Monday 14/01. However, on E’s birthday i.e. last Friday, E and Diane made an impromptu decision to go for the karaoke package since the birthday person gets to go for free. E ajak-ed all of us but only I (F for Forever free) could make it. That night the 3 of us sang from 8pm till 2.00 a.m. And I think we left only because they shut our karaoke system down - we couldn’t key in any more songs. It was really worth it because the package was supposed to be for 3 hrs and thereafter if one wanted to stay you had to pay for the next package, i.e. the Supper package that is supposed to cost about RM22.00 per head. The staff even invited us to supper but by then we were too full to eat anything. Since there were only 3 of us, we keyed in all type of rojak songs, tak kisah can sing or not, try-la. At the end of the day we were tired but satisfied that we all got to sing kow-kow!

On Monday as planned, we met at Greenbox shortly after 7.00p.m. Earlier in the day, in the midst of our chat on MSN, E said, “Tonight u all sing. My throat’s a bit sore. You all serenade me.” Tipu one, she sang all right! When asked about it, she replied, “suddenly throat ok-liow!” Anyway, we each had equal opportunity to sing the songs of our own choosing. M was requesting for a few “roses” songs that night eg. Rose Garden and Paper Roses.(Valentine’s Day approaching?) M was Ms. Busy that night as she kept going out of the room to take her calls. To sidetrack - psst .. M has a secret but we are not allowed to reveal it to the masses yet and keeping it in is killing me. Don’t know about the rest but I am dying to blah it out. Of course since she doesn’t read this blog, I can always satisfy my urge and say it out. Hmm…

To get back to Greenbox and karaoke, That night we left at about 1.00 a.m. We didn’t get chased out, it was just that we had to work the next day so we left. The choices of songs are so wide that we can all find ‘new’ songs to sing. New, in the sense that we have never attempted to sing these songs before. When your girls come home for their holidays, E, they will be impressed! The aunties are finally singing different songs from precious years. Yehh…

F

2008 news ~ the good and the bad!

It feels like ages since i added a post in here. If u look back at the last few ones, they are all F's contributions! Since the new year started, life's been somewhat hectic! So many things to do, so many dinners and so many karaokes!!! Hahaha! We have the new Green box to thank for that! Located at such a convenient place with its good buffet spread , great choice of songs, and good sound system , we found it irresistible! But this is NOT what this post is about, so lets move on. Oh but u can check it out here :
http://www.redbox.com.my/redbox/eng/default.asp

Check out the songs list and buffet!

I just want to sum up my first 2 weeks of 2008 cuz so much has happened ~ most are not so good! Everyone seemed to have health issues , starting with my brother-in-law who had pneumonia. He was admitted into hospital and when he was discharged, my sis got admitted. Hers wasn't pneumonia but it was some kind of infection which somehow led to vertigo. She got discharged and next in line was my mum. Now that is not good news at all cuz at her age, we worry for her health. She too had some complications and lung infection. Her stay in hospital did help and now she is back home again, recuperating and slowly regaining back her strength. It looks like i am next in line having a health issue tho i pray and hope mine wont get serious. Just too much of running around, late nights, and too much singing!!!! My throat is hoarse and sore!

2008 came with dinners aplenty , and there was a minimum of 2 in a week!!! Weddings to attend and festive celebrations, my birthday and karaoke buffets!!! Wah, its no wonder my pants are screaming as i torture them with my big flabby thighs and butt! I am not even really trying to diet for now. Lets just be realistic and wait till CNY is over! Its always better to set goals we can accomplish...... makes us look less of a failure!!! Heheheeh!!

Another very memorable episode in 2008 is the disappearance of Thunder. NO i didn't take away lightning's friend. Nor did the weather change that drastically over here! Thunder happens to be my pet dog. He is a German Shepherd who stands up taller than me when he is on his hind legs!! On my Birthday we went out for a celebration at Green Box ( again!!!) and came home at 2.30am! Make no mistake we weren't drunk but i guess we were tired and sleepy and i am sure we were the ones who accidentally left the gates open!!! 6 hours later we found out that Thunder was gone. So that started a frantic search of Thunder

.... all the surrounding areas around house and beyond, the MPK dog pound, and the vet clinic which wasn't open yet. After 5 hours of that, we went back to the vet and we were informed that someone found a German shepherd! Our prayers were answered and we got Thunder back in our lives! Phew! We considered ourselves really lucky! :) And now we vow to be extra careful with the gates. Check and double check !!!!

There are other minor events that took place in the 1st 2 weeks of 2008 but i don't want to get too yakky in here. Let the other FEMS have a chance to spread their 2008 news too. AND I MEAN U , S!!!! Hehehehe!

Happy New Year ...... and Gong Xi Fa Cai , soon!

E-xtra Cautious now

The Bucket List

"The Bucket List” is a movie about 2 strangers who met whilst sharing a hospital room. In the midst of coping with the effects of treatment and ultimately learning that they were dying from cancer, they came up with a list of to-dos before they ‘kick the bucket’.

This movie, acted superbly by Jack Nicholson who plays billionaire Edward Cole (who incidentally owns the hospital) and Morgan Freeman, as Carter Chambers; a mechanic who gave up his dreams of furthering his studies when his wife got pregnant with their first child. Both men, so contrasting in nature, managed to forge a friendship while embarking on their journey to fulfilling the list.

Edward has lived his entire life pretty much for himself whereas Carter has had to make sacrifices throughout his to raise a family. Against his wife’s wishes, Carter, along with Edward checked out of hospital to carry out their dreams. Being a billionaire Edward could take Carter to places he could only dream of going before e.g. India to see the Taj Mahal, Great Wall of China, Egypt to see the pyramids etc. It was an altogether new experience for Edward too. Being’s a ladies man, this was the first time he has done it with a man, a friend, not someone he was trying to impress or woo.

Along the way, Carter learnt that Edward has a daughter he no longer kept in touch with. Carter eventually managed to convince Edward to reconcile with her as he said, ‘nobody should die alone.’

In his eulogy at Carter’s funeral, Edward made a touching speech. Part of it read, “ I hope it doesn’t sound selfish of me but the last moments of his life was the best of mine. He saved my life and he knew it before I did. I’m proud that this man has found it worth his while to know me. In the end, I think it’s safe to say that we brought some joy to one another’s lives.”

If you don’t have a lot of time and has to be selective with your choice of movies, watch this. It’ll be worth your while. Hmmm… of course, there’s also, “I am Legend” and “The Kingdom”. Both also not bad.

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Mother

It would have been my parents’ 52nd anniversary had my mother still been alive this Christmas. They were married on 25th Dec 1955. This is written in memory of my mother, who passed away on 27/01/96 at the age of 60.

Mum’s given name was See Tue Wai Peng but her I.C. and other official documents registered her merely as See Tue Peng. Translated in Hokkien, it meant ‘die upside-down.’ Incidentally, her mother’s (my grandma) name, Tan Cheok, translated in Cantonese, meant ‘shoot bird’! Their names have been a source of joke amongst us for as far back as I can remember!

Mother was born in China and when she was in her teens, grandpa took her, along with the rest of the family, on a slow boat out of China into Malaya. Traveling along with them was another teenage girl, daughter of a family friend who ended up being my mum’s best friend to the day of her demise. They were so close that we tell everyone she’s our ‘Ah Khum’ (aunty) and her children, our cousins. Today, Ah Khum and her children are far closer to us than our blood relatives!

In her youth, mum was supposedly quite a beauty. She was admired and pursued by many an eligible bachelor but chose to marry my father. My friend, Lynn’s father often told me that she was known as ‘the rose of Port Swettenham’! Up to her early 50s, mum took great care of her appearance and would not be seen anywhere without at least, her lipstick on. Her nails were perpetually painted, hair, permed and dyed. She was vivacious, bubbly and blessed with the gift of the gab. This gift has been passed down most prominently to Mei Leng and Mei Cheng!

When I was about 7, she, 34 and a mother of 7, mum received a phone call from an admirer asking her to meet him at ‘Deluxe’, a restaurant cum motel at the corner where Econsave is today. Mum played along and told him okay but later told my dad about it. At the same time she called her brother, my fourth uncle and at the appointed time my mum went over to Deluxe alone. When that guy appeared so did my uncle. He scolded the guy, “You dare disturb my sister? Shame on you! She is already a mother of 7 etc etc. My uncle went on to say that he was one of Jalan Meru’s tai-kor and if he ever tried anything funny, he would go after him. How I know this? We, the older kids were there for the fun of it and saw this guy, looking very ashamed, apologized and left.

As a little girl, I used to follow mum to a nearby hairdresser which she frequently at least once a fortnight. It was called ‘Shanghai’ and the lady boss, Aunty Mui, was another of my mum and Ah Khum’s ‘sei-tong.’(close friend) The girls at the hairdresser always looked forward to her coming. They would call out to each other “Peng Cheh leh lor” (Sister Peng is here). Those in their rooms would appear because it was ‘story time’. Mum would then tell them her version of the Cantonese serials being circulated on video while they were doing her hair and nails. I’ve often seen mum falling asleep while watching these shows, yet she managed to narrate the stories to those girls, maybe she improvised a lot? Of course the story was to be continued on her next visit, as it was told to whatever episode she had watched the night before.

Mum and Ah Khum used to speak in their native “Sei Yap” dialect whenever they had secrets or gossips to share or when speaking to my grandparents. In all her years of living in Malaysia, mum never learnt to speak Bahasa or English for that matter. The only English word she could pronounce fairly well was ‘foreman’. Often, Malay and Indian customers would greet and speak to her whenever she sat out in the shop. Mum merely smiled a lot while we replied on her behalf.

Many people assumed that mother was truly blessed and that she lived a life of leisure. It was true in a sense as we were all raised by Nanny who was with us until I was in std 5. My parents had to send Nanny back to Hong Kong as her diabetics had taken a turn for the worse and the doctors had to amputate her leg. After Nanny, we had this lady who used to be a caretaker of the association upstairs (before we rented it) to help out with the chores. Before we had the washing machine, there was another lady who came in on a daily basis to do the laundry. Mother was indeed a source of envy to both neighbours and friends alike.

What they didn’t know was that throughout their marriage, mum lived in total submission to my father. Father was considered an ideal husband because he worked hard, didn’t drink or gamble. He hated all forms of gambling so much so that my mum, who was a compulsive 4-ekor bettor in their earlier years of marriage, had to endure many a scolding for indulging in it. Father was quick tempered and found fault with almost anything eg the rice she served him was cold etc. It would not be wrong to say that mum was terrified of him. So were we, while we were growing up even though he had never once caned or punished us. If he was angry with one of us, he took it out on my mum, accusing her of not knowing how to raise her kids. Mum would then waved the cane at us and we would tell each other ‘mother’s making Zorro sign’, meaning we’d better behave for the rest of the day.

Because there were 7 of us kids, almost daily either 1 of us would manage to get on his nerves; meaning that perpetually 365 days a year mum had to endure his naggings. And she had learnt early never to talk back at him.

Even though we kids often look forward to CNY because of the angpows, we knew one thing for certain; Father’s naggings would start especially early on the first day of New Year. That was because Ah Khum would come really early so the naggings could be due to the fact that mum was not dressed, or the syrup not ready or the biscuits, not placed out in tupperwares yet etc.

Father’s nagging on one issue would last the entire day and there was no way my mum could avoid it. He would follow her from one room to another nagging, nagging, nagging. She would sometimes run upstairs, where my dad never ventured (because it was children’s corner) just to avoid him, pretending she had ironing to do.

When my sister was old enough to drive, we would often sneak out of the house one by one and took my mother out for supper etc. That was probably the best days of her life but that was cut short because all too soon Mei Leng had kids of her own and was caught up with her own chores and only came for short visits.

During the last few years of her life, mum’s arthritis worsened and she had problems walking and took to carrying a cane. Climbing stairs was especially cumbersome for her. She had to sit on the steps and raise herself one step at a time. The naggings from my dad never ceased and it was now worse for her because she couldn’t run upstairs like before. The old caretaker had also gone to live in an old folks home meaning mum had less and less people to talk to since she had difficulty getting around. Aunty Mui, her friend and hairdresser had already sold off her business and only visited occasionally. Her daughter Ah Pong, came to give my mum a haircut once in a while. Ah Khum visited as often as she could but the fact that she doesn’t drive meant she had to take 2 buses to reach us. It was thus inconvenient for her to come as often as she liked.

Mum made a decision to move out of her room that she shared with my dad and moved upstairs permanently. Father asked her about it but by now she was good at playing dumb and chose not to reply so after a while Father quit asking. After that she hardly ventured downstairs anymore except to use the toilet. Even her meals she took upstairs and she hardly spoke a word to any one of us.

My sister would visit and even then she would hardly say anything and Mei Leng would ask her if her leg was hurting and she would just nod. It was then decided that we would send her for a kneecap operation to try to restore the use of her legs. That was a bad decision, which finally costs mum her life.

In retrospect, even though we didn’t recognize it then, I think she must have gone into a state of depression and withdrew into herself. Instead of offering her any comfort, I chose to ignore her. Admittedly I couldn’t handle the fact that she had changed so much. As for my father, I have stopped fearing him ever years ago. Today, Father may be old and feeble but I have unresolved issues with him. Whoever assumes that children don’t understand or remember what is happening around them, think again. I remember our childhood days perfectly. That is why until today, the issues with my father, remain unresolved.


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Countdown 2008

New Year's eve dawned without a hint of being an eventful day. Other than the fact that our office, together with IMF had a lunch party organised, I was all geared up for a relaxing night at home, drinking my detox tea and watching a horror movie, maybe.

In the midst of a leisure day at work, E wei-ed me on the MSN asking " No countdown tonight?" Since both of us had no definate plans for the evening, we decided to have dinner at J.J., which is incidentally, the latest place to lepak if you have nothing better to do. Besides, Suki (One In a Million winner) & Jackyn Victor and some other stars were scheduled to make an appearance at J.J. the same night.

Just before I left the office, Alan, one of IMF's staff told me that his friend wanted to adopt one of the strays, either Ah Sar or Ah Kiew. I gave him an ultimatum, his friend had to take both or not at all. His friend agreed and Alan went on to say that his friend would be taking the puppies the same evening.

As a norm, I feed the strays twice a day. Once in the morning and again in the evening before I go home. I was about to feed the strays when I saw a van with 2 ladies and a guy approaching. Ah Sar & Ah Kiew were playfully jumping up and down. I observed the occupants of the van smiling at the dogs antics. I fed the dogs and signaled to one of the ladies, pointing to the dogs. She alighted from the van and I asked if they were here for the dogs and she nodded.

All 3 then came forward and they started petting the dogs. I sort of interrogated them, asking them where they were staying and if they were definately taking both dogs. The man was telling me in Cantonese about his previous dog and then Alan appeared. He asked me, "so what is your decision?" and horrors I started crying! How embarassing! Anyway I told them to take the dogs but to let me to leave first.

I went home to change and headed directly to E's. Together with Diane, we left immediately to J.J. Normally, if we are going somewhere nearby, I would drive but I was pretty upset over the dogs and made E do the driving that night.

We had dinner at BBQ Plaza. Aiyoh, a lot of work, man! Had to keep applying lard on the pan. If not the meat would stick to the pan. But the food was okay la, meat my favourite la.

After dinner we went to Big Apple where Diane and E shared a doughnut while I had a cup of Cappacino. Then we walked around and went to Maxis Centre. My boss was going to get me a new mobile phone and I wanted to see what it was looked like.

After that the plan was to hang around for the outdoor concert until Jacklyn Victor had sang at least. On our way out guess whom we saw hurrying into J.J main entrance? It was Suki. We had our cameras with us and we waited at the entrance for her. We noticed a group of young chicos (guys) waiting with their handphone cameras ready so we thought we outdo them. We waited outside the toilet for her!

Suki was nice enough to take a photo with me.

The only other famous person I would wait to have my photo taken with would be Tun Dr Mahathir, I think.

We managed to see Suki as well as Jacklyn perform. Since it was starting to drizzle, we decided to forgo the fireworks display and left for home. It turned out to be quite an eventful day afterall.

P/S.

On my way home that night, I stopped by my office grounds to see if the strays were gone. Yikes! how come both of them are still there? Alan told me this morning that they only managed to catch one of the strays that evening so after a while they released the other one as well. It's better for them to have a permanent home so I told Alan I'd help them catch the pups if they come again.


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