Response to CARE ~ from guest blogger too!

This is a reply to Fong’s last post ~ Care. It was an interesting one and I have way too many things to comment on. It wouldn’t fit in the comment column so I had to do a new post on that.
It’s so typical in Asian culture to not express love and affection. Its felt but not shown. I guess it’s like an act of weakness to be so affectionate. The men are probably the worst offenders!! But Chinese women are just as bad, especially the older generation.
Take my family for instance, I was brought up in a very typical Chinese family where birthdays were hardly celebrated. I don’t think I even had a birthday cake at all until I was 19 when my sis came back from UK and bought me one. We have the usual ang pows handed to us and I hate to say this but my dad would shake my hand and wish me a happy birthday!!! I think I received more outwardly shown affection from my friends than my parents!!
When I had kids of my own I made it a point to be really expressive! It came very naturally to me. I mean I love my babies to pieces so it was not a problem showering them with tons and tons of love!!!! Hugs and kisses, and constant reminders of “I love U” filled the household. Kids learn very quickly and they soon passed that on to their grandparents as well. But even then the old folks only became affectionate towards the kiddies.
It took a major health issue in the family to change that. My dad’s kidney failure was a rude awakening to all of us, mostly on himself. He realized that we do not say how we feel often enough. Thru out the illness he kept going on and on about his love for all of us. And from then on, the older generation was more generous with their show of affection, even with us older children!!!
It’s true we shouldn’t wait for special occasions to let our loved ones know they are appreciated. A simple gesture like a hug, or a pat on the back, an arm around one’s shoulder or a kiss on the cheek or the forehead…. A kind word, a compliment… it can’t be that hard! So start now!
I am so glad I instilled that quality in my kids. Not a day goes by without someone uttering some form of affection. Even the man of the house is an affectionate one, we are so blessed.
But let this not just be confined to one’s family. We have friends we care about as well and they are just as important to us. Our lives intertwine so here’s to all my friends and family ….. MOAHS!!! HUGS! I love u!!!!

Attached is also an excerpt from one of my kids’ emails. She wanted to have her 2 cents worth after reading F’s post too. So here it is from our guest blogger ~ No2!

I read aunty F’s post!! . I understood immediately what you meant bout us being the total opposite of what she mentioned. Our family compared to others is quite different in the sense that we do constantly profess our love to one another. I don't know why but while I was reading the post, I remembered when I was a kid, you made us a little mail box to keep and every once in awhile you would write sweet little notes or letters as you may call it and put it in our mail box and we (your kids) would reply the same way. In a way it helped us with our writing skills and it helped breach any boundaries between us. It’s the little things that mean the most. I always loved that line because it really is what it says. Leaving little notes around the house or just the simplest physical act of love such as a hug or a ruffle of the hair or a pat on the back is enough to make someone's day. I remember you, making cards for all 3 of us (your daughters) for no reason at all. Just to say u love us, you cared and that we mean the world to you. And doing that meant the world to us. The fact that I can still remember that to this very day, that I still keep that card and that I can remember what you wrote in it proves it all, doesn't it? You’re proud of the fact that there's no generation gap between us. I am too. And I know that all this is possible only because of you. You taught us how to share our feelings and emotions, how to open up and love freely. The little things that you do for us, is what brings us closer together.

Thank you mum for everything.
For teaching us how to love.
For all the little thoughtful gifts that you give to us.
For the times together that we laughed and cried.
It brought us closer together each time
thank you for all the things you've done.
And most of all thanks for being my mum.

love u lots =D
hugs and kisses,
~No.2~

E-xpressions of love please!